The girls liked to organize their private parties around some theme, and liked the freedom to be as wild as they wished. They held no secrets about the afternoon get-togethers that they held once or twice a week. They just wanted, "... the opportunity to invite who they wanted, and to have the freedom to get fucked as they wanted." It was all very innocent and serious at the same time, for they were convinced that they were doing nothing wrong, and they felt that it enhanced their marriages by giving them that freedom. Consequently, my wife almost always told me of her misadventures, and didn't attempt to hide her participation in the events. For them, it was all done for pure fun, physical and mental. If either one had a **** fantasy, it was for the excitement and not the pain. They took their fun seriously and with all out enthusiasm. It was a part of life that would only stay a few years, and they were bound and determined to milk it for all it was worth.I remember the time when. Causing my life to turn upside down and make me hate life as well as myself. I can't even believe in myself anymore. I've lost the desire to create and bring laughter to others. I can't bring myself to want anything, to hope or even love.I don't deserve love anyway, not even love for myself. I did a horrible thing to someone else and deserve to suffer for it. Coincidentally, I've found a perfect way to do that. Sexual humiliation has become something I am rather good at taking and being used has taken over any of my previous sexual preferences.Finding the men is easy enough, especially when I tell them that I don't care who they are - something that seems mutual to most men nowadays. I don't think I've even asked their names the past few times. Thankfully, they don't mind that.Sometimes there are handsome ones who come along who seem nice enough but I prefer to blindfold them beforehand. Truth be told, I do it because I can't stand the thought of another man that I'm attracted to.
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